Texas yard sign

I remember when I was young,
Questioning if our souls reincarnate
Not in such a complicated way
Because I didn’t know that word
But simply looking at grass or a tree
Thinking, I wonder if that could be me one day
I wonder what being me really even is
And could I come back into this world 
In another time, in another way?

Then I was taught to go to swim team
Or soccer practice
Or why not basketball, you’re tall… 
If you’re tall you should be good at basketball
I sucked at basketball
Ok I’ll try swimming again
Piano? 
Dance…that one stuck the most
But by fifteen it wasn’t cool to be mediocre at ballet

I couldn’t win a title, a ring, or a fancy leather jacket
My family couldn’t put a sign in our front yard
For the depth of my thought and spirit
So that part of me must not be important
She can hide… it’s safer to hide.

It’s safer to study finance because Dad said
You can’t be successful with a liberal arts degree
It’s safer to take a job at the bank
When I knew it was never for me

The thirty grads in my banking program did a personality test
I was the only one who had “Intellection” 
As one of their strongest personality traits
Not to say I was or wasn’t more special than anyone
We are all special

I just kept finding myself in worlds
Where my true self 
Felt like it was safer to hide.
Not exposing myself to worlds 
Where she felt accepted, being different.

My Texas town loved front yard signs
To brag about your kids.
Usually sports, but I like to imagine…
Mine would have said:

“Our daughter is sensitive. 
She likes to sit and observe the world quietly.
She will speak up, 
When she has something important to say.
She will question things,
And likely do things differently,
Once she learns to be ok,
Being herself.”

-miz