Surrender

Surrender is not resignation
Resignation is passive
It’s apathetic
It’s giving in
To the misbeliefs
That got you stuck in the first place

While surrender is active
It’s radically accepting
It’s allowing
It’s trusting
It’s giving up
What you desire
Because not all of the pressure
Has to be on you
It’s being open
To what desires you

Surrender means having a clear vision
For the qualities of what you desire
But not for the exact things

You must remain involved
Listening, and taking steps to create
Without attaching to the outcome
With deep acceptance of where you are now
Being perfectly where you are supposed to be
Even if you don’t like it
As accepting the present
Is the first step to making space
For a better future

And it’s still ok to want
It’s just being open
To what you want
Not wanting you
And being open
To what’s wanting you
Being more amazing
Than your wildest dreams

-miz

In and Out Beings

Chest goes up, chest comes down
We are In and Out Beings
Water comes in, water goes out
We are In and Out Beings

Why now 
When we get stuck
Do we expect just to be In Beings

In only, more In, 
stuffing down, suppressing
questioning
Why is it like this?

Well, you’ve forgotten the Out
the outlet.

Be kind to yourself
As you were not taught this
You were taught
You must hold it all
In, in, in. 

Take a breath, my love. 
Let it out, out, out. 
Remember,
You are an In and Out Being. 

Scream, dance, write, 
Shake, flail, shout
Cry, crumble, crash
It is safe.
Let it out. 

Once you start
It may feel endless 
As you are making up 
For in-ness
With out-ness

Just know there’s a lightness
A natural way of being
In and Out Being
Awaiting you. 

-miz

Texas yard sign

I remember when I was young,
Questioning if our souls reincarnate
Not in such a complicated way
Because I didn’t know that word
But simply looking at grass or a tree
Thinking, I wonder if that could be me one day
I wonder what being me really even is
And could I come back into this world 
In another time, in another way?

Then I was taught to go to swim team
Or soccer practice
Or why not basketball, you’re tall… 
If you’re tall you should be good at basketball
I sucked at basketball
Ok I’ll try swimming again
Piano? 
Dance…that one stuck the most
But by fifteen it wasn’t cool to be mediocre at ballet

I couldn’t win a title, a ring, or a fancy leather jacket
My family couldn’t put a sign in our front yard
For the depth of my thought and spirit
So that part of me must not be important
She can hide… it’s safer to hide.

It’s safer to study finance because Dad said
You can’t be successful with a liberal arts degree
It’s safer to take a job at the bank
When I knew it was never for me

The thirty grads in my banking program did a personality test
I was the only one who had “Intellection” 
As one of their strongest personality traits
Not to say I was or wasn’t more special than anyone
We are all special

I just kept finding myself in worlds
Where my true self 
Felt like it was safer to hide.
Not exposing myself to worlds 
Where she felt accepted, being different.

My Texas town loved front yard signs
To brag about your kids.
Usually sports, but I like to imagine…
Mine would have said:

“Our daughter is sensitive. 
She likes to sit and observe the world quietly.
She will speak up, 
When she has something important to say.
She will question things,
And likely do things differently,
Once she learns to be ok,
Being herself.”

-miz

Must be nice

Must be nice they said
And I said, oh well, kind of nice, 
but here’s all the ways it’s not nice, 
so I can make you feel more comfortable.

Must be nice they said
And I said, yeah it’s nice, but just for now. 
I’ll get back into my box. Don’t worry, 
I just come out every now and then.

Must be nice they said
And I said, oh, well, I mean it’s nice, 
but here’s all the ways I suffer 
and all the ways I sacrifice.

Must be nice they said
And I said, hmm yeah, it’s ok.

Must be nice they said
And I said yeah, it is nice, 
and you could have it too! 
It’s a choice, you see, 
and here are all the books I recommend.

Must be nice they said
And I said,
Yes, it is.

-miz