Funemployed Day 43: How to ace the ones you love

I aced my mama in tennis. I just tried my best. I probably didn't ace her, but I'll go with that anyways. We got to the courts at 8am. It was so nice. I really enjoy playing tennis. I can't serve, but I can do everything else that counts, like hitting the ball. It's suck a fun way to get exercise, and I plan to do more of it. Plus, it's good to know how to play tennis when you are retired or a housewife. 

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Funemployed Day 42: Bringing Bouffant hair back

I dunno, guys. Do you really want to read about my day at the beach? I don't care. I'm going to write about it anyways. I got up around 8:30am, since I didn't want to waste my day. I sat in our little crow's nest and wrote for a good two hours. Then it was time for a walk. I was like, "Hey Aunt Lasagna, want to go for a walk?" She was like, "Yeah, let's bring Aunt Chicken too." "Ok." "Ok." 

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Funemployed Day 41: I'm full of brilliant ideas

Sadly, there are no grandmas at the beach this year, so I am doing my best to act like a Grandma, reading novels, drinking white wine, and going to bed earlier than all the young whippersnappers. I do love getting a good 8 hours of sleep. Know what I love even more than 8 hours of sleep? 9 hours. I think I might have gotten 11 hours my first night. I woke up at 10am. I've practiced sleeping for 27 years, and finally have it down. 

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Funemployed Day 40: Flight delays and stuff like that

 If there's one fact in life you should know, it's that people suck at airports. That's just how it is. We all turn into uncared beasts and become the lowest versions of ourselves. Everything is an inconvenience, a nuisance, and makes you more willing to eat Auntie Ann's or Cinnabon, which have been strategically placed to take advantage of your weaknesses (not mine though) (you'd have to get me wasted before I'd be willing to eat that heart-attack-inducing shit). 

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Funemployed Day 40: Feminism for the win

I had to do my to-do list from the day before. I was running around like a headless chicken, scrubbing surfaces, changing sheets, and then trying to get myself ready. I recommend doing all of this stuff with a head. I don't know how those headless chickens do it. Hats off to headless chicken. You are supposed to look cute for a bridal shower. I looked more homeless than cute, but I'd fix myself up on the train. 

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Funemployed Day 39: Do your to-do list tomorrow

You know when you make decisions with no regard for your future self? Like, “Oh I will be fine taking a 5:52am flight.” or “Oh I’ll take Spirit airlines despite consistently negative reviews from friends.” The thing is, when you make these decisions, your future self just has to deal with it. It wasn’t horrible, but it’s like, “Ugh, ok enough already, Past Self. Quit making shitty decisions.” 

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Funemployed Day 38: Naps and psychedelic rock

I didn't do much. This was my last full day in Chicago. It was grey and rainy. Blob and I mostly hung around the house. I did take a shower, so that's a win for the day. When I got out of the shower Blob was attempting to get this huge, heavy box into his apartment. It had his new dressers inside. I attempted to help him.

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Funemployed Day 37: The city that never...stops being windy.

Hold on, a beach on a lake? How does this work? 

Yes. Lake Michigan is big af. Blob lives less than a block away from this watery behemoth. It's gorgeous, and it was a gorgeous day. He has quite a nice summer of funemployment ahead of him. I can just tell.

I'm been mentoring him every chance I get on the in's and out's of early retirement. I was like, "Yes, we are kind of retired, but no, you cannot start collecting Social Security yet." The injustice. Hopefully we can elect some good government representatives that understand the plight of the youngly retired to change this. Until then, we must persevere and drain our pittance of savings accounts in the name of funemployment. 

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Funemployed Day 36: Never say no to a roadtrip

Blob was ready to fly the coop, heading to Chicago to find a new job and take a comedy writing course at Second City (he's fucking funny). He was like, "Wanna help me move?" I was like, "Not really" Then he was like, "Remember that time I helped you move to NYC for your summer internship?" "Yep, ok I'll help you." Actually I was in immediately. I was like, "Ok this sounds like a nice adventure." Plus I have a few friends in Chicago I want to see. 

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Funemployed Day 35: Talking about the D word

My Grandma died one year ago today (June 6, 2015). In the car ride to the train station my mom said, “Wow, what a year it has been.” It truly has been a year, especially for my mama. What’s comforting is we are all together and I’m doing exactly what Grandie enjoyed doing, spending time with family. I was at her favorite place for the weekend, the farm, and am heading to see my cousins in State College now, another place she loved to visit. Next week we reunite with all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins in the Outer Banks. I can just picture her in her beach hat, and that makes me smile.

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Funemployed Day 34: Life is like a box of chocolates

It was a rainy one out, a Pennsylvania rain event. I spent most of the day indoors on a computer. First next to my aunt. We did a step-by-step tutorial of Paypal, Ebay, and Craigslist. She was like, “I need to sell stuff. Can you help me?” “Yeah, sure. How much ya gunna pay me though?” Jk. For family it’s free. They just have to buy all of my groceries and put a roof over my head. We had a really productive am. I’m excited for her to sell shit. I even get excited about other people selling shit. It’s real. I do.

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Funemployed Day 33: How to almost miss your bus

Saturday morning started really relaxed. I mozied into the city, then parked myself at a coffee shop near Bryant Park, making sure i was only a few minute walk away from Port Authority. I was in heaven. I had two hours to kill, plus coffee, a green juice, a heaping salad, and my laptop. My fingers were just type-typing away. I got a second coffee, oogled at a cute baby, made a friend in the bathroom from Albania (her shoes were adorable), and I was just living the life of leisure.

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Funemployed Day 32: Fill your day with friend-dates

It used to be like, "Hey Miz, let's go party and stay out until 4am!" Party-Miz was in full force and was like, "Oh hell yes!" After two solid years of this in NYC, I've changed my ways. Yes, I still love a good night out once every few months, but now I'm more of a, "Hey Miz, let's go to spinning and get a green juice after." kinda gal. 

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Funemployed Day 31: Early to rise

I woke up before 7am because the yapper in my head was yapping a lot, in the best way possible. I just wanted to write, so I got up, made some coffee, sat on the couch, and typed away. I was content. I wrote for a good three hours, with some short breaks to text friends (other early birds) and browse the web. I pumped out some great content (if I do say so myself), and felt quite pleased. What a nice way to start my day bright and early. 

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Funemployed Day 30: Follow your funemployment dreams

We live in a world of over 7 billion people. It's a huge world, with a lot to see, a lot to learn, and a shit ton of options when it comes to making a living. You are never locked in. If you feel locked in, there's still a way out. Taking three months to relax, enjoy, and reset will do more good than harm in my opinion. If you live to 80 years old, this is just 0.3% of your entire life.

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Funemployed Day 29: My thoughts on Airbnb

I like knowing that I can help someone enjoy their time in NYC. They can come "home" at night and feel relaxed. There's so much uncertainty to travel, and when you don't have much time in a city it can be a little overwhelming to decide what to do. I want to help. It also pays my rent. This is awesome, but I also put a lot of work in to make this a reality. This doesn't just happen. 

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Funemployed Day 28: Nothing says Memorial Day like corn

I've gotten to know most of Bro and Sal's friends over the years, so they always feel like my friends too. I'm not sure if the friends feel the same way about me, but I'd like to think so. It was Little Miss Sweet Corn's 30th birthday recently, so we made some kick-ass food in her honor.

She's from Southern Indiana and actually won the title of "Little Miss Sweet Corn" in her town's corn pageant as a 5-year-old. She shared this information with us at dinner. I feel proud to know her. Her sister also won the title years later, and her brother won "Little Kernel." Their parents must have been thrilled to have bred such solid, corn-representing children. There's nothing that says Memorial Day/30th birthday like corn. 

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Funemployed Day 27: Make your own adventures

I haven't cursed much today, so here I go. It is SO fucking nice to spend time with my brother and his wife. When I was dreaming and scheming about my time off I was like, "Yes, I love to travel. Yes, I love adventure. But I really just want to chill, enjoy time with family, cherish time with friends, and explore my interests." This weekend has been amazing and like I said, "There's always an adventure to be had." It can be small, but life is full of that shit.

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Funemployed Day 26: Life is full of monkey business

I actually grew up coming to Hilton Head all through high school. I would come for a week each summer with my best friend's (Cali girl) family. We would stay in a Marriott time share and just tear up the town for a week. One highlight was this underage club called "Monkey Business" where we would go dirty dance (face-palm) with other underagers. It was exhilarating. We lived for Monkey Business.

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