Funemployed Day 36: Never say no to a roadtrip

"There could be 12mph winds in your own neighborhood." - Weather lady on TV at Nick's Cafe in Maumee, OH. Nothing about this place disappointed us -- diner feels, obese people in trucker hats, horrible local news. The weather lady was struggling to find things to talk about. 

Tl;dr: Got up before 6am, hit the road with my cousin Blob in a big yellow moving truck, listened to a bunch of podcasts, giggled, stopped at the most dinery diner for lunch, got to Chicago 12 hours later, backed into a few poles, unpacked the van, dinner with Blob's new roomy, crashed hard. 

My cousin Blob is the best. 

We've always been close. Our favorite pastime as kids was to move all of the living room furniture in his family's living room and DANCE. I remember dancing to the newly released N'SYNC Celebrity CD then continuing this tradition with his younger sister and brother over the years. One summer we moved the furniture and danced to Bulletproof by La Roux -- I was in college. It's like the best club you could ever go to, and a great workout. I lived with their family that summer while I was at PSU taking summer classes. It was one of my best times in college. 

Now I miss seeing that fam so often, and I'll take any excuse to spend time with them. Blob was ready to fly the coop, heading to Chicago to find a new job and take a comedy writing course at Second City (he's fucking funny). He was like, "Wanna help me move?" I was like, "Not really" Then he was like, "Remember that time I helped you move to NYC for your summer internship?" "Yep, ok I'll help you." Actually I was in immediately. I was like, "Ok this sounds like a nice adventure," plus I have a few friends in Chicago that I want to see. 

We look good in yellow.

The whole family was up bright and early to say their goodbyes. I was giggling to myself. Aunt Chicken, Blob's little sister, was passed out on the couch in her robe. Crusti, Blob's little brother was outside bent over the balcony feeling like he was going to puke. I was thinking, "They look like a bunch of drunks," but it wasn't a time for jokes. The family said a tearful goodbye, seeing us off in the yellow Penske truck. 

Still have a nose pimple, but Blob doesn't judge me for it. 

Still have a nose pimple, but Blob doesn't judge me for it. 

I was ready in the passenger seat, praying that I wouldn't have to drive at any point during the ten hour journey. I barely even drive a regular car, so putting me behind the wheel of this big truck may not have been the best decision. Luckily Blob made it the whole way. I was impressed. 

We drove through north west PA, northern Ohio, Indiana, and finally into Illinois. It was as average as you'd expect. We stopped at McDonald's in Sandusky, OH (yes, also the name of the PSU pedophile) (we also found this amusing).

I wore my pajamas until 8pm. I can't say I loved it. I didn't. This was in Sandusky, OH. 

I wore my pajamas until 8pm. I can't say I loved it. I didn't. This was in Sandusky, OH. 

Sandusky, Ohio's hottest couple.

Sandusky, Ohio's hottest couple.

Later we got lunch in Maumee, OH at the most basic-looking of cafe's called Nick's. I got eggs and some type of mystery meat with home fries (there must have been three potatoes worth in this heaping pile of hash). Blob got a gyro. The menu had a surprising middle-eastern flair. As two cultured humans, we felt at home with this flair. We didn't feel so at home with the obese, trucker-hat, Trump fans siting nearby (I just assume they like Trump, because they would). I could not finish my mystery meat, despite the amount of catchup I drowned it in. 

Blob walking into lunch. He knew he'd be the boss of Nick's cafe

Blob walking into lunch. He knew he'd be the boss of Nick's cafe

We hit the road again, stopping in beautiful northern Indiana for a pee and some agua. We listened to a bunch of podcasts, danced along with our tunes, and giggled as I waved and smiled at truckers. Blob, like my bro, knows how to ask the most pressing questions like, "If you were a trucker, what color truck would you drive?" I said, "Purple." He was like, "Me too!" until we both changed our minds later upon passing a technicolor truck. In unison we were like, "OMG no, that is the color we'd drive." #cousinsforlife. 

Pee stop next to our trucker friends.

Pee stop next to our trucker friends.

"Blob, We're in Indiana!"

"Blob, We're in Indiana!"

We finally made it to his apartment and took a while to maneuver the yellow beast around until we got it in an acceptable spot to start unloading. Blob only hit a pole and a metal fence in the process -- not a single dent or scratch! Now that's skill. 

Moving is a bitch. It's good to have someone to help you who's low stress. 

That's me. We moved with no stress (besides panicking when Blob ran into stuff). We unloaded the truck, took four elevator loads of stuff up, and were done an hour later. I don't really want to relive moving stuff, so I'll keep this part short. It's one of those things you just get done, then black it out of your memory, like the three times I've moved in NYC.

When I first moved to NYC, at Blob's age, I moved in on the hottest day of the year. After a day of wretched A/C-less moving, we got the window units installed. That evening the power went out. All night. It was pure misery, sleeping on an air mattress next to my roommate (who I'd convinced to spend a shit-ton of money to move to the city with me) with ice packs on our heads to cool down. I told Blob, "Don't worry if you wake up the first few nights thinking 'WTF have I done!?'" I totally felt that way. Actually I feel that way every time I move, but I still love doing it. The unknown is scary, but also really fun and exciting. 

Taking the leap to funemployment is admirable.

Blob quit his good job at a creative agency to make the leap out here to Chicago. I think it's great. He was ready to get out to the big city, be funemployed like the cousin he admires so much, and take some risks. I'm proud of him, and excited for him. He is going to do great stuff. He has so much potential, and I know now that if he needs a fall-back he could be a truck-driver. The future is bright. I couldn't ask for a better cousin. 

We returned the truck that night after a few mishaps (like forgetting the dolly we needed to return and running into a fence), but nothing catastrophic. Stress on the cat part of that word, since Blob loves cats. He's currently unpacking as I write, and there's at least five cat items in my direct vision. Make that eight. I just did a recount. 

Blob packing cats

Blob packing cats

Blob's new roomy made us dinner and then we both took a much need shower and crash harded. I was so tired. I could tell Blob was too, because he started snoring right away. UGH. 

Now another day of unpacking, organizing, exploring his hood (it's right on Lake Michigan!), and probably some spontaneous living room dancing. 

  1. Wake up
  2. Walk along Lake Michigan
  3. Coffee and groceries
  4. Write
  5. Unpack
  6. Dance
  7. Organize
  8. Dance
  9. Dinner with Chicago friends
  10. Comedy show??