Funemployed Day 51: A second chance in Dublin

“Business as usual.” - The Bank of Ireland. This is literally their marketing tag line. How fucking mediocre is that? To me this is saying like, “Hey Ireland, we did some shite stuff in the past…like that whole financial meltdown thing, but don’t worry about it. Back to ‘biz as yushe.’”

Tl;dr: Slept half the day, attempted to use their antiquated showering system, went to a few cool coffee shopz (see what I did there?), met my friends for a drink, got pizza, ate too much pizza, then went home for my Irish history lesson. 

I swear I tried to get up before noon.

I didn’t try that hard, but I did try a little bit, which still counts as trying. Once I got up I thought for a while about taking a shower. Thinking about taking a shower counts, right? Wait, it doesn’t work that way, so I actually showered. They have this old water heater that you have to flip on and let heat up for 30 minutes before you can use the hot water. Talk about antiquated (I still love them as people, but it doesn’t mean I agree with how they shower).

I apparently didn’t even find the right button (I found this out much later in the day), and just randomly turned some knobs that I thought were the right knobs to turn. They weren’t. I think I got the hot water that was left from the night before. Let’s say it wasn’t that hot. I trend the knobs back after my shower, not knowing if I had done anything correct here. 

After my shower I walked into town.

They actually just call the main part of the city ‘town,’ which I think is great. It’s so quaint sounding. Dublin isn’t that big, so it’s acceptable to call it town. It’s a great little city. I’d been to Dublin once before, but I was drunk most of the time and I was in college (so a really big idiot). This time was different. I actually stayed sober enough to see my surroundings and navigate around the city, avoiding the tourist traps (Temple Bar and Guinness Factory).

I do remember having a blast last time I was in Dublin. I think we stayed in a hostel for a quick two nights, staying out all night on our last night, getting two hours of drunken sleep before taking a hung-over flight back to Italy. We met some German guys, one of which my friend and I referred to as “Edward” from those stupid fucking Vampire books that were popular. Fuck that book. I didn’t even like it. 

So this time I had my wits about me in Dublin.

I’m a refined lady now. I looked up the coolest coffee shops on Instagram and went there. The first one was called Industry. It’s an interior design store and cafe. The coffee was boss and so were the salads. I had a meander around the shop thinking, “Wow, that thing is cute, and so it that other thing.” Then I went to cool coffee shop number two, called Clement and Pekoe, and parked it there for many hours while I blogged about it. I was just like blogging and blogging til my hands were about to blog off, I mean fall off. It was fun. I always enjoy getting back to writing. It allows me to reflect, gives me time to appreciate the simple things in life, be creative, and remember how fucking cool I am (pretty cool, guys). 

This was my food. 

This was my food. 

Refined lady taking refined fucking selfies

Refined lady taking refined fucking selfies

I wrote for a good four hours, because I didn’t want to let all my millions of blog fans down. Actually I just get in the zone and keep trucking along and then I look up at the clock and am like, “Oh shite, it’s been four hours.” Those fuckers make you pay for wifi in Dublin, which is so European of them. We Americans are like, “Hey come into my Dunkin Donuts. The coffee is shite, but the internet is free. Plus it’s our re-re-re-grand opening ceremony today. Didn’t you see the flags outside?” I never know what that means when a place is like, “Re-Grand Opening.” Yeah, no. 

Finally my friends got done with work.

This was Thursday. They were taking Friday off FOR ME (how nice), meaning now Thursday was their Friday. Since this Thursday was their Friday, we met for drinks. I had a cider, which always makes me think of Yer Man, because he used to only drink cider. Now he drinks beer too. They told me about their recent trips to Japan and to South Africa and Mozambique. Those crazies get around. I will travel with them some day. We’ll have a blast.

They constantly crack me up with their petty bickering, and I completely love taking sides with someone and assisting with the bickering. Yer Wan is a lawyer, so you’d think Yer Man would pick his battles, but he doesn’t. Well, maybe he does pick his battles. He just picks all of them. We went across the street to a great pizza place after this. We each got our own personal pizzas and a cocktail. It was delicious, and not in any way healthy.

We headed home after where we sat on the couch with some tea while I was briefly briefed on Irish history. 

The short version: the Brits fucked them over many times. Then we watched a film about the important Irish independence figure, Michael Collins (played by Liam Neeson). It was a great movie, except for Julia Roberts’ attempt at an Irish accent and the generally unnecessary love story. They made sure I knew that they have some British friends, but they aren’t particularly fond of how Britain treated the Irish historically. Touche. 

Then ironically enough, we chatted about the British vote to #Brexit the EU, which was going on this evening. We were like, “Yeah, no fucking way they vote to leave. That would just be silly and crazy and will never happen.” Then we headed to bed. I couldn’t sleep, so I stayed up and read Reddit for like three or four hours. 

Yer Wan and Yer Man have Friday off. Let’s party!

  1. Get up later than intended
  2. Take a shower
  3. Head out to the country listening to those two argue about directions
  4. Cake by a nice garden
  5. Drink some Jameson at the Jameson brewery
  6. Casual dinner
  7. Pub 
  8. Bar
  9. Bar
  10. Bar 
  11. Club
  12. Shitty Kebab place
  13. Get home when the sun’s up