Funemployed Day 2: What the bleep am I doing with my life!?

"Have you ever been to The West coffee shop?" - girl looking at my Starbucks cup with disdain since she's getting kicked out of her artist loft because "the man" is building a Target. 

TL;DR: girl sleeps in, girl writes stuff and contemplates sending to her family, then friends, then social media network. She does it and feels bleeping* good about it. She visits a garage sale and finds nothing. She visits a secondhand store and finds something. She browses bleeping* Craigslist, sweats her bleep* off in hot yoga, then eats a fish taco with employed friends.

Guys. I did it. I navigated my way through another day of funemployment. 

Day two was a little less eventful. It did not involve any drunkles (drunk-uncles), but I still got my housewife on (maybe less housewifey and more "privileged Brooklynite" on). We will get there. 

The day began after, what I'm afraid to admit, a restless, anxiety-filled night of sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking "what the bleep* am I doing with my life!?" I blame it on the white wine. I then proceeded to browse Reddit at 3am...another one of my favorite pastimes. I finally fell back asleep, woke up at 10am, and thought "yes, I know what I'm bleeping* doing with my life. I'm living it! Now, get me some coffee!". Phew, glad that was resolved. 

I chatted with ze German doctors over coffee and some yogurt (I found this brand that I love) with strawberries, chia seeds, and walnuts, and then proceeded to make a checklist of all of the things I want to buy for my apartment. Then of course, browsed Craigslist, texted friends, and started writing. 

On writing

I've always loved writing. I keep a journal and have many that are filled. It's always been something that I fall in an out of, but I promised myself that I'll never force it, otherwise it stops being fun. It's bleeping* hilarious, yet also cringe-worthy to go back in time and read some of the entries that I've written. Maybe I'll share some of the juicy deets at some point, but guys...my mom is reading this. Just relax. 

So I wrote about my day. Then I emailed it to some family. Then I reread it thinking "Wtf, Miz, who cares!?". Then I thought "Hey girl, I care!". Then I was like "Ok, I'll email more people". Then I was like "Ok, I'll bleeping* post this to my social media and my extended network of long lost acquaintances and let them know wtf is up in my world". This took me until 3pm. I also said bye to ze German doctors and browsed Craigslist and Pinterest. 

 I've never been scared to go into a strangers home. 

I host them in my home all the time for god's sake. People always ask "Aren't you scared they will steal your stuff?" No. I have many more thoughts here, and the "worst" experience was seeing my 50-something year old German guest naked. I will write about this and my thoughts on Airbnb another time. 

So I emailed a stranger, then texted her (didn't know it was a girl until I arrived), texted my funemployment mentor to meet me, and said "Hey, we're coming over to look at your stuff". I did not forget to bring along my trusted measuring tape (ala my bff Amanda Mayeux). Sadly, I didn't find anything. I did like, and take measurements on, her sink (mine's rotting at the bottom), but I'm renting, so that would just be a pipe dream to purchase. My friend got a coffee pot and some doilies.

This loft was crazy. It was an old warehouse and they were the only tenants left after all the long-time tenants had been kicked out to build a Target. They have to be out in 5 days. She really looked down on me for carrying a Starbucks cup. I felt ashamed. The good news is that I found out I'll have a Target 5 blocks away! I said bye to my mentor and went about my day. 

I bought Converse for $25. 

I wandered into this crazy resale store that's super close to my apartment and I didn't know existed. I was the least hipster person there hands-down. I think they buy dead-stock from other companies. Here's a picture of the shoes. 

Sweaty yoga.

I came home and took photos of stuff I want to sell and then listed it on Craigslist. No takers yet. My friend, Craig, emailed me and I got excited that I had a taker, but no, it was just Craig (seriously). I'm buying some furniture once I've sold the existing stuff, but will take my time to find the best bleeping* deal possible (I thank my father for this quality). Then I went to meet two employed friends for yoga and dinner. 

This yoga class was sweaty af. It was my first time at the studio, Modo, in Williamsburg. It was great, but also super pretentious and hilarious that we "privileged" folks actually go out of our way to go into a hot bleeping* room, half naked (there were very few shirts and a girl wearing what looked like a mesh bathing suit) to feel a sense of calm and release. It's sad that our daily lives are designed to make us so stressed that we have to pay money to sweat and feel at peace with our shirts off. I also bleeping* enjoyed it, but appreciate the fact that it's ridiculous. I would love to see a lady from Bangladesh (or you pick) come watch these people. She would be like "wtf!?!?" why!?" and we'd be like "because we want to feel less stressed and at peace with ourselves! duh! and sweating helps us lose water weight and feel more skinny than we actually are! Also, where else are we supposed to show off our hot bods in this cold city, lady?". 

Daily dose of cynicism. So I sweated with my friends. It was actually really fun.

The teacher looked like a white version of the hulk, with a euro soccer player's haircut (think attractive though). I wanted hands on assistance, but I wasn't lucky enough. 

 Then we went and got fish tacos for dinner. It was so fun. I was like "omg guys I feel so good and happy" and they were like "wow, we are so happy for you". I drank a glass of wine, then had some apple cinnamon tea (normal after fish tacos, right?). 

That's about it, guys. Then I went to bed. I did research and figure out how to add a sign up button so I can add emails to my blog. Go me!

Whats is store for day 3? 

Well, I'm glad you asked. 

  1. spring board pilates class
  2. gyno appointment
  3. hanging with retail-hours friend
  4. meeting our other employed friends for drinks

*replace as you see fit