Funemployed Day 25: When you're at the beach #blogaboutit

 "Is Maebs on her head?" - JerzPatty (sis-in-law's mom) commenting on a photo of me sleeping in the car. It's an optical illusion. Scroll down...

Tl;dr:  Woke up early, slept in the car with a dog on top of me, magically arrived in Hilton Head, walked the beach, made lunch, beached again, biked a bunch (practicing for my spinning classes), ate seafood. 

I'm a great car passenger.  

The ride from Charlotte to Hilton Head took about four hours. I fell asleep within the first 15 minutes and woke up promptly as we pulled into Dunkin Donuts three hours later. Obviously Bro and Sal took pictures of me sleeping with the dog in the back seat, because I looked so cute.  

 

Dog on my head #blogaboutit

Dog on my head #blogaboutit

We arrived in Hilton Head and I got a tour of the new retirement pad. I'm pretty well-versed in retired life, so I immediately felt at home. The recliner fit my body like a glove.  

Walking on the beach feeds the soul.

One more thing to add to my list of soul-feeding activities. We rode beach cruisers to the beach. I'm not used to bikes that move. "Woah wait, when you pedal it goes forward?  Where's the high intensity music and person yelling at us to spin our legs faster?" We weren't at Soul Cycle. My bad. We took a long stroll down the beach.

 

It moves when you pedal! Magic!

It moves when you pedal! Magic!

Those two were working all day, so this was their extended lunch break. I made lunch when we got back, and we ate on the patio. Bro and Sal pretended they were retired for a good two hours, then got back to their laptops. 

I did my housewife thing and cleaned the dishes for those lazy assholes. Then I convinced them to stop working and we hit the beach, this time taking an even longer bike ride. We calculated that we rode 15 miles yesterday. Not too bad.  

Then we parked it on the beach. I got burnt in weird patches due to my inability to fully apply sunscreen to my body. Oops. I'll blame my sister-in-law. 

Here's Sal. She fucked up my sunscreen and looks so relaxed about it.  

Here's Sal. She fucked up my sunscreen and looks so relaxed about it.  

This is me. I put a filter on it and look more tan than I am. I'm white af.  I have eyes and hair, but you can't see it. 

This is me. I put a filter on it and look more tan than I am. I'm white af.  I have eyes and hair, but you can't see it. 

Today is mostly pictures because I'm at the beach. You are probably at the beach too and would rather read your Nicholas Sparks novel than read my blog, so I will let you go about your day. Spoiler alert: The girl gets the guy at the end of your book. I bet you didn't see that coming. 

 Then we ate seafood.

I love seafood. Always have. My brother too. My mom was like, "You kids would always go for the most expensive thing on the menu, blah, blah." We have refined palates, what can I say. She should be proud, if anything, to have bred such refined young souls. We love crab and lobster. Don't fuck with it and put mayo or breadcrumbs on it. It dilutes and cheapens it. #dontcheapenmylobster

I've also always kept my pinky out when drinking champagne with my lobster (since 5 years old).

The seafood was pretty good. Not the best I've had by any means, but the kick-ass company made up for it. I really can't complain. After dinner we rode bikes home in the dark. We used our iPhones for light since we are millennials. 

Life is good.

  1. walk the beach
  2. breakfast
  3. facetime JerzPatty
  4. beach
  5. write
  6. tbd based on weather