Funemployed Day 24: How to survive the airport

"It looks like we are going to the weach for a beek." - My brother mixing up his words, commenting on the amount of stuff we were packing. Who's the fool here?

Tl;dr: My private driver (Uber) took me to the airport, flew on a plane, got picked up by my bro, went to lunch with bro, wrote, went grocery shopping for our beach weekend, hung with sis-in-law, walked around Charlotte neighborhood with wine in hand. 

My driver, Saurav, picked me up in his black car at 6:30am. 

I was like, "Saurav, step on it!" He did. Getting to LaGuardia isn't too bad when you go early. I went to the wrong terminal though. It was all cool. They were like just go through this security line where random people will yell at you about liquids, shoes, and laptops, then hop on this shuttle bus to the right terminal. They corralled me and some other ticketed passengers out of this random door, onto this weird bus, and to this other terminal (it looked very unofficial and sketchy). I made it to my gate. 

I got there in time to get a coffee before my flight. Thank the lord. Hallelujah! They were like, "Hey we need people to check their bags at the gate." Yeah, that's a dreaded message for some. Not me. I was the first person to volunteer, "Take it. IDGAF. Just get this shit off my hands." It helps if you're not in a rush or if you have a personal assistant (I'm not here yet, but soon).

I have time for baggage claim. 

People started lining up (don't let the word "lining" fool you) to board. I sat back on a barstool drinking my coffee and scoffed at this herd of sheep gathering around the gate. I am never in a rush to get on a plane. Fuck that. I'm of the strategy to gate-check your bag (free because they are always desperate), then sit back and relax until the herd has taken their seats. Now leisurely be one of the last people to board. This is the least stressful approach to travel.

My dad is of the opposite camp. He used to make my blood pressure rise, lining up when they called Group A. "But Dad, We are Group C!" He DGAF. That's his prerogative. Luckily we don't travel together much anymore. Crazy-Joe had a persona when we were younger that we referred to as "Airport Dad." This starts about 12 hours before leaving for the airport. When this version of dad is in form, you just do your best to keep to yourself, get your shit in the car, and follow his moves. He's passive. It's not like angry dad. He's not an angry guy. Passive aggressive, yes. Sometimes you want to rebel, and give him some attitude back. I recommend not doing that. Just power through. Everything will be ok once you arrive (unless there's a rental car involved). I still love and respect "Airport Dad", but love Crazy-Joe (his everyday persona) more. 

Ok, so I arrived. No stress. 

Brother picked me up. We went straight to his house to drop off my bags, then shortly after went to grab a coffee and some lunch. We both sat on our laptops. He was working and I was blogging. He looked at me mid-conversation and said, "I started a fashion blog." "What, really?" "No." All day this was his running joke. And anything I said he would respond with, "Blog about it.", even texting me "BLOG ABOUT IT" from the bathroom upstairs (I was downstairs). Thanks, bro. 

This is our text convo.

This is our text convo.

He is full of shit like this. It's my favorite (and least favorite) thing about him. We both constantly try to embarrass each other, and then form a solid team when it comes to embarrassing his wife. She hates when he honks the car horn, so he makes a point to do it consistently and randomly. "But it's rude. It's just rude." His response, "If you honk in the forest, does anyone hear it?" I guess it depends if there's anyone in the forest, right. He also likes to tell you on the phone "Oh, Sis-in-law has a question for you." or "Sis-in-law has some big news for you." He hands her the phone, and she hasn't heard the prior statement. "I'm like hey, what's up? You have a question? You have news!?" "What? Huh? No!" Then there's bro snickering in the background. 

We went back to house and worked on our fashion blogs. I was wearing Crocs. 

Sis-in-law (Sal for short), came back to the house early evening. We caught up, chatted, and then she had to leave for a "young professionals networking" event. I was like, "Oh I would love to come too, but I have to go buy groceries for the weekend instead. Plus I forgot my business casual." "Can I wear Crocs?"

Then my bro had soccer, so he trusted me to drive his Jeep from the fields to the store. I had a list in hand, after carefully reviewing my Pinterest board for what I wanted to make this weekend. 

Grocery shopping went well. Listen to this deal. I got all healthy food. The total was $72. I used $33 from the Craigslist sale my brother had just made at the soccer field. He sold two Nascar event tickets to a cop (I'm not joking), and then I used an Amex gift card I got from volunteering my seat on a Delta flight. What a deal, guys. 

I picked him up from soccer. We went home. Sal poured me a glass of wine. We packed food for the beach, packed bags, packed the car, then went on a walk around the block with our wine and the dog. Then we went upstairs to watch an episode of "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt." Hilarious show. I want to be Titus. 

Maeby thinks this is an excellent varietal

Maeby thinks this is an excellent varietal

Beach day tomorrow. Happy MDW!

  1. Sleep while my bro drives to Hilton Head, SC
  2. Write while those two work
  3. Walk
  4. Do stuff outside
  5. Beach
  6. Drink