Funemployed Day 17: Living like a vagabond

"Ma'am If you're going to sit here, you're going to have to buy something." - overheard at the coffee shop where folks were parked on their laptops. I made sure to buy something. 

Tl;dr: There's no way this day could be too long. I did very few things. I did things like sleep in, say bye to my German guests, clean (ugh I hate cleaning the bathroom), sold clothes to a thrift shop, ate at a Turkish place with a crazy lady, and went to a hot yoga class. Pretty basic unemployed day. 

I'm a few days behind. My memory is foggy for this day, and it wasn't especially exciting. So sorry about that. 

Not. 

Don't you love "not" jokes? Those were the best as kids. It's just so easy. Almost as easy as saying, "your mom", but that's a little riskier. You just never know the state of someone's mom. I recommend "not" jokes over "your mom" jokes. 

So I woke up at like 11am this day, because some days I really want to feel like an unemployed useless hag. I did it and thought, "yeah, I kind of prefer being useful. I'll try that again tomorrow." I also had quite a bit of red wine the evening before, because I was entertaining, and it was my duty. I got up and moseyed around the house. I sat in my huge, cozy reading chair and had one last great convo with my Germen guests before I saw them off. They were using the new kitchen island and I was looking on with pride. They were great guests. I said that yesterday too. 

Then I cleaned. This wasn't as fun as when I did it last week. I wasn't in the zone. When you clean, it's really helpful to be in the zone. 

I think i need to get rubber gloves, because I always gag when cleaning bathrooms. No offense to my lovely guests. We are all human, and we all have hair. It doesn't mean I (or anyone else for that matter) enjoy cleaning it. I'm too cheap to hire my cleaner at the moment, so doing it myself.

I also picked up my laundry after this, which was funny. The lady knows me and I always wait way too long to bring all my stuff. I made my Croatian friend help me carry all the laundry to the wash & fold place the day before. Thank god he was there, because other times I hire an Uber to take me three blocks to drop it off. Dead serious. This is sad. Airbnb does produce a lot of laundry though. 

Now I had to go pick it up. It was a good 50 lbs of laundry. I got it in two trips. I always see neighbors on their stoops looking at me like, "Is she ok? Those look heavy." No, I'm not ok you assholes. They should offer to help. 

Next I went to the thrift shop to sell some clothes. This is how I make money to shop with.

I'm really into second-hand these days, not just because I'm poor. I actually just prefer the idea, because why buy something new when you can get it much cheaper? It's better for the environment as well, so I feel like a real noble person. You should try it. It's kind of therapeutic too. Go alone, dig through other people's old clothes, find some gems, buy them with the store credit you got from selling. It's fun, and a good activity to fill your day when you have nothing on your schedule. 

Then I wandered around the hood. I stopped by a coffee shop after to get some food. It was 4pm and I realized I had only had some nuts in the morning. I was HANGRY. I happened across a Turkish place and had no other choice than to get a delicious sandwich (no salads to be had here). This was a small place with one other lady there. She was crazy. She made sure to chat with me and narrate for me. Like when I said bye to the clerk, she was like "She said bye." Yes, I did, lady. Thanks. 

Then I went to another coffee shop and had another meal an hour later because I was still hungry and it was basically dinner time. This time I got a salad with chicken on it, very fresh and hearty. I wrote for a few hours at this place with my fellow bloggers, freelancers, and designers on their laptops next to me. I always wonder what these people do. Maybe they are just on Facebook. 

Then I went to HOT YOGA. I'm really starting to love it. I bagged it a while ago to my friends who like it, "You know you don't actually burn more calories, right?" Ugh, I'm an ass. It does just feel good. It feels cleansing, and it's the studio with the best looking people. That helps. 

Imagine this place filled with hot people. 

Imagine this place filled with hot people. 

I got home and slept upstairs with Biscuit and my neighbor friend. 

We had a slumber party. I rented out my full apartment on Airbnb for two nights to some French people. When I rent out the full place I usually go home to the farm, out of town somewhere else, or stay with a friend. Luckily my friends would house me. I'm a very lucky gal. I feel kind of like a vagabond, because I was homeless between 3pm-10pm that day. The French guests let me stop in and pick up my bag in the evening, so I didn't have to put all my belongings on the end of a stick and carry it over my shoulder all day. Thank god. 

The evening ended with some tea and a nice chat with Bizzy Biscuit. She's a goddess and a true friend. Then we went to sleep. I was tossing and turning with a sore throat. Allergies. 

I'll leave you with that cliff hanger. Will I wake up feeling better? Will I not? Maybe I never wake up? 

You'll have to wait and see. Day 17. A great day. 

  1. ????
  2. Meet former-coworker-soon-to-be-wed friend
  3. Meet funemployment mentor to learn how to make pasta!
  4. Meet best friend's older sister (she's also a good friend and gets mad that I just refer to her as my best friend's sister) for dinner
  5. Wander around like a homeless person because I'm actually homeless at the moment.